Since having a child, I’ve given up on a real social life and settled for a social-media life instead. I’ve gone from laughing in pubs and gossiping over coffee with people I know and like, to arguing via computer with people I don’t know and don’t like. Sadly, for a delicate flower like me, my new social circle clearly doesn’t like me one little bit.

I take full responsibility, however, for my recent journey to the online sewer, which was the unfortunate result of a bad mood, an exquisitely unpleasant radio DJ and access to a smartphone. This heady mix was enough to propel me, unarmed and unprepared, into the centre of a frenzied Twitter war with a professional Troll, the debris from which is still echoing around cyberspace.